Razzi News

I have a new colleague in today… finally, someone who could share my
burden at work… so happily, I engaged in a conversation with him…
(let’s call him razz)

Dino: Hi, I am dino…

Razz: Hi I am Razz.

Dino: Nice to meet ya…

Razz: Same here… So are you filipino?

Dino: *furrows eyebrows and look at him* no, I am not…Why do you ask?

Razz: Oh, cause your name sounds like a Filipino. Dino Filipino. *guffaws*

Dino: *eyes narrowed*  -_-" (Funny meh???) Oh no, I am not.. *fake smile and turn back to do my work*

Razz: So, your parents Filipino?

Dino: *pauses* *turns back slowly to face him* No, they ain’t. They are
Chinese.. So a Chinese and a Chinese will give birth to a Chinese which
I am. A Chinese.

Razz: Oh, ic. *guffaws* So you are chinese? If you are not filipino, then you are Indonesian Chinese!

Dino: **sharpens knife* and repeats very slowly* I…. am…. a…. Chinese, I repeat.. My Mum is a Chinese, My
Father is a Chinese. Singaporean Chinese, Hokkien Chinese, Teo Chew Chinese… Not indonesian chinese. A chinese + a
chinese = a chinese. 龙的传人.

Razz: Oh…icic.. hahaha

Dino: *sweat and went back to work, thinking its end of conversation*

Razz: But you sound like a Malay.. your parents Malay or you baba?

Dino: *10 seconds pause* *takes a deep breath and exhaleee* I may have grown up with Malays…. but
that doesn’t make me a Malay and for the last time…. my parents are
100% chinese…. no baba, no malay, no indian, no filipino, no
babuseng… ok? And just because I am dark, that doesn’t mean I am a Malay. I am dark because my mom drank too much coke while she is having me, thus the artificial coloring seeped into my genes and determine my skin color.

Razz: oh ok ok …*sensing my irritation, he changes topic* Do you have a car?

Dino: No..

Razz: Do you drive?

Dino: No… *pauses* *thinks: I don’t have a car, how to drive????*

The sound of my alarm clock pierced through the air like a siren. I woke up groggily… still exhausted from my battle with a vermin hours earlier. I sat on my bed, with eyes closed, re-aligning my senses… it was then I discovered I have an ulcer in my mouth.. I groped for the ulcer gel on my table, squeezed out a bit on my index finger and rubbed it inside my mouth… then I realised it tastes funny… I opened my eyes wider and look at the tube on the table…. What I saw was….

"SELLEYS KWIK GRIP CONTACT ADHESIVE"

Finger in my mouth still… *5 seconds pause*

5
4
3
2
1

SUPERGLUE!!!!!

I rushed to the bathroom and flushed my mouth with gallons of water. PUIZ PUIZ PUIZ PUIZ. Wah lau… what a way to start my day manz… morale of the story…

Look before you apply.

You might ask, why didn’t I smell it before I apply? Cos I got sinus block in the morning… can’t smell anything…