Why women likes bad guys
Monday, February 19th, 2007You all have heard of the phrase: 男人不坏,女人不爱. Or a gal friend saying,"nice guys are hard to find.Either they are all taken up or they are gays"
I have encountered ladies friends of mine, who has ended up having affairs with married men, men who cheated on them persistently and yet always giving them a 2nd chance,3rd chance…., or boyfriends who doesn’t give a damn about their well-being..I have seen them having their heart broken, been cheated on, or find themselves giving everything they’ve got inside, to get little or nothing in return.
What is it about bad boys or men that aren’t available but yet is so attractive to women? For some reason, women don’t want the guys who are probably better relationship and love companions.
***** I found some theories off the internet– usually advanced by nice guys complaining about the "jerks" who get their girls — is that women must simply like to be mistreated. That’s not a very nice thing to say, is it? There’s actually much more to this seemingly paradoxical pull, such as:
Challenge, danger, adventure. We want them; bad boys offer them.******
That’s some opinions for you to munch on above. 
Or let’s assume we have a spectrum like the below.
|"Nice Guy"|——————|Middle Ground|—————————–|"Jerk"|
On the above spectrum, the ends are the extreme. On one end, you have the nice guy. Sweet, charming, lovable…but highly dependent, lacks self-confidence, highly insecure, etc. On the other end, you have the jerk…rude, selfish, outspoken, but also confident, secure, and very independent. It is those last three qualities (confidence, self-security, independence) that women are most attracted to.
It’s interesting to note how women react to the spectrum. Women are emotionally attracted to the nice guys. These are the guys whom they’ll come to for emotional support. They are the ones who ladies will be open and honest with them, and even expose their secrets and what not. But ask them to consider the nice guys to be their boyfriends? It’s a "umm..don’t think so" answer.
Does That Mean "Nice Guys" Are Boring?
Not at all. "Nice isn’t boring, boring is boring". Why, then, do people tend to make the nice=boring equation? Here’s one theory: when "nice" is the only word you can think of to describe someone, they’re boring. Hence the association.
Dano: Hey bro, got ppl say you nice guy leh. That means you are BORING! WAHAHA.
Dino: *sweat* Go fly kite, u eediot.
More specifically, when women say someone’s "nice" — or even "too nice" — they often mean that he’s too nice…to the world. That he has too few opinions, too soft a spine, too little nerve. Women prefer some sass, a bit of backbone, a little harmless mischief.
Thus, women are physically attracted to the other end - the extreme right, the jerk end. It’s not that they like jerks specifically, just the qualities they possess by nature i.e strength, security, independence…
In the nice guys defense - they might actually have something better to offer a woman in terms of what she SAYS she wants (love, trust, companionship, passion), but the women aren’t able to see it - or see it as something they want.
Why??????
Cos women don’t develop a connection to the nice guy and the “connection” is the MAGIC ingredient for attraction with most women.
And women DO feel that magical emotion called ATTRACTION for “bad boys”.
But don’t get me wrong and start behaving like a bad boy to your ladies friends, I don’t mean to say that men have to be jerks, or abuse women in order to make them feel attracted to them.
But women have a deep attraction mechanism that’s triggered by men who behave indifferent, superior, cocky, the list goes of “bad” behavior. You’ve seen it, like in the Taiwanese drama series, Meteor Garden,
Dano: WTF??? YOU WATCH A SISSY SHOW?? Wah KAOZ! DAMN GAY!
Dino: I happened to watch it when my sister watched it lah.
Dano: Ah.. Mai Gey Siao… It still can’t change the fact that you watched a Gay show. Ok, guys, Hands up on those who has watched that show before..SEE? No ONE!
Dino: -_-"
that Xiao S chooses that Dao Ming Si, the bad boy, over the Guai Zai Zai. As “Bad boys” often create inviting and intoxicating forms of drama - often perceived as playfulness, sexuality and fun.
So what do women really want?
Going back to the spectrum, ideally, women want a guy who falls in the middle ground - is nice, sweet, caring, but also is confident, independent, etc. When women say "Nice guys are hard to find", they are talking about the middle ground guys. Often at times, if they can’t find that middle ground guy, they’ll work on averages… like getting their physical needs from the extreme right, their emotional from the extreme left, and that will give her a middle ground of sorts. Or, women will start from the extreme right, the jerk end, and then try to bring the guy down to middle ground by "changing" him. They start on that end because that is what is attractive to them.
I have a friend who once asked me, "how do I tell the bad guys from the good guys then?" Well, it is not so obvious in the first glance. A guy may look nice on the outfront but he may be a DUHZ inside. Or he may be rebellious, listening to rock music and having a colorful hokkien vocabulary that will even make flowers wilt but he is nice to you, sends you flowers, brings you to A&E if you are sick, filial to his parents and brings his nephew to watch Harry Potter! So don’t judge a suitor by his personal style, or even his job or interests: Judge him by how he treats you. Not to mention others.
-Dinorazzi
I only take toilet breaks during merengue beats